Category Archives: College
Since my last post, I have made it through graduation alive and relatively sane. Although all the worries and doubts from before were still there, I tried my best to focus on graduation for what it was: a celebration of the achievements of me and my peers over the past 4 years. It was a hectic and frenzied 3 days, but sitting among the sea of light blue in my own matching cap and gown, I was happy and proud to be graduating from such an amazing university and share the occasion with my family and friends.
I don’t think the fact that I won’t be returning to Columbia in the fall has quite sunk in yet, but hints of nostalgia are already beginning to peak above the surface from time to time. But with so much change on the horizon I’m forced to look forward and not back. Right now I’m back home for a bit, before moving to San Francisco on June 9. So I’m busy looking for jobs and apartments and procrastinating on my dental school applications. I know I’ve said this for just about everything this past year, but I’m both scared yet excited about all this change. Look forward to more posts about starting this new chapter in my life soon! But not before a post about Yufei and my post-graduation vacation to the US Virgin Islands!
It’s a little more than 2 weeks away from graduation, and I’ve been feeling like I’m at the lowest point in my life ever. Isn’t this supposed to be the best time of my life? Then why do I feel like I’m going to have a mental meltdown every other day? Am I the only one who’s feeling this way?
Let me back up a little. I have had an absolutely incredible time at Columbia, met some amazing people, and I’m truly excited about graduating. But I’m also more anxious and uncertain than I’ve ever been. Over the past few months, I have seen my peers get into fantastic graduate schools, get great awards and scholarships, accept jobs and fellowships, get engaged and married. They all seems to have it TOGETHER and have life FIGURED OUT.
And here I am, this close to walking across the stage, and I feel like everything around me is falling apart. In a few weeks, I will be thrown out of my dorm and I have nowhere to sleep for a few days in New York City. Then I have to move across the country to a city where I know no one and start living together with my boyfriend. And I will have a super expensive and hard earned degree but still no job (and trust me, it’s not because I haven’t tried). And now parents tell me that my dad might switch jobs in the next few months and they might have to move again. Everything is changing and shifting and the future has never been foggier.
While I’m happy for all the successes of my peers, they are a constant reminder of the things I don’t have. Why don’t I have those things? Don’t I deserve them too? Shouldn’t I have something to show for at the end of my 4 years at an Ivy League school? Why can’t my life be at the point where everyone else’s seems to be in? I wish I, too, had good and exciting news to share with my friends and family when they ask about my post-graduation plans, instead of just a forced smile and admitting that I’m “still trying to figure it out.” I just feel lost and stuck. Stuck at the edge of a great precipice, forced to move forward with no paths to follow. At this point, I don’t even feel the need to “have it all” anymore. I just want ONE THING to go right, to be certain, to hold on to.
I have no conclusion to this post. I wish I did, I really do. Just like I wish I had the answers to the next chapter in my life.
Happy New Year’s Eve!! I guess I just can’t stay away from this blog after all, haha. 2011 sure went by fast, didn’t it? How did it go for everybody? It was a pretty big year year for me: I traveled to many new places, celebrated 3 years together with Yufei, turned old enough to feel old at Forever 21, and perhaps most importantly, finally worked out a rough post-gradation plan! But 2012 is going to be even more monumental, with graduation and all that stuff. I have lots of hopes and dreams as well as worries and concerns for 2012, but most of all I’m really EXCITED to be moving on to the next stage in my life. So, new year’s resolutions? Why yes of course, I’ve got quite a few:
1. To lose weight and stay healthy. Ha, probably the most cliched of all resolutions, but it has to be made. I was super busy and stressed out last semester, and as a result didn’t work out very much and didn’t eat very well, and so as a result I gained a few pounds. My favorite pair of jeans are feeling a little too tight! This is definitely a sign that I need to lose a few. So, in the new year, I will eat healthier and exercise more. I’m taking Pilates next semester, so hopefully that’ll help!
2. To take control of my finances. Well, what little finances I have anyways. The first step is to find a new part-time job, since my current job is ending next month. And a sub-point to this resolutions:
2.a. To spend less money shopping. This is going to be really hard for me, because I love shopping and clothes and shoes and makeup and… sigh. But it’s getting to the point where it’s becoming a problem. So I’m going to give myself only $30 a month on shopping, and if I want to buy something more expensive one month, I’m going to have to give up the next month. Hopefully this is going to make me think twice about impulse buys (so guilty of this). And I’m going to purge my closet again when I get back to NYC, as well as take some of my existing clothes and shoes to the tailor/cobbler, to get more life out of them. I think it’s going to be a fun challenge to get more creative with the clothes I already have!
3. To make an effort to dress up nicely everyday. I’m already moving towards that direction, so this won’t be too hard. But I still have my off-days; I felt so yucky when I wore my sweatpants out during finals last semester that it just threw off my whole day. I feel so much more confident and productive when I look nice, even when I’m not going anywhere.
4. To make the most out of my last semester in college. Finally for one semester, all my classes genuinely interest me, and my schedule’s not too tight that I can still have fun! I’m going to enjoy my last few months at Columbia (and NYC) as much as possible.
5. To keep a positive outlook, no matter where life takes me. There’s going to be a lot of big changes in 2012, and I know that I’m going to be stressed out and worried and upset over some of them, but I want to keep in mind that no matter what happens, everything is going to be okay, life is wonderful, and I’m so lucky to be alive and surrounded by amazing family and friends.
So there you go! My resolutions for 2012! What are yours? I’ve love to hearing them!
I leave you with this lovely song from two of the most adorable and perfect human beings ever, Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Here’s to a happy, healthy, wonderful new year!
I’ve been neglecting this blog for some time now, because soon after my birthday I freaked out and realized that my DAT was in less than 2 months (now more like 2 weeks)… so I’ve been very busy studying. And now it’s finals week and I’m dying because I have so many and they’re all worth so much of my grade. But I really don’t want to study anymore so I’m using this to procrastinate.
Here are some photos from my birthday dinner last month:
We went to Symposium, a tiny Greek restaurant (the photo on the website makes it look deceivingly large) near Columbia. It was the first time since I started college that I’ve been able to celebrate my birthday with a group of friends, and it was excellent! Great food, great sangria, great company. And the delicious strawberry mousse cake was from Artopolis.
22 is a rather unmonumental age, I must say. But that’s just fine with me. Turning 20 and 21 felt like such a huge deal that it made me nervous and agitated that I still hadn’t figured out my life. But I actually felt surprisingly okay with this last birthday. Maybe it’ shouldn’t be so surprising, since I finally do have some idea of where I want my life to go, even if I haven’t ironed out every wrinkle in my future plan yet. But I finally feel like I have a goal and am making progress, so that it no longer feels like time is passing me by. It’s a good feeling!
So right now I’m focusing on finishing finals (with decent grades, hoping for straight A- this semester, haha), then it’ll be onto the DAT, and then doing the pre-health application and other stuff for applying to dental school, and finding a job for both next semester and my gap year, all while enjoying my last semester in college! And then it’s onto the real world… but let’s not get too far ahead yet.
I probably won’t be back until after my DAT on Jan. 7, so I guess I’ll wish anyone who’s reading a very Merry Christmas, and see you in 2012!
My ceiling light stopped working last night. It turns off by itself after 2 seconds of being on, and I have no clue what’s wrong. My room is already dark since it’s shafted, and now I only have my little desk lamp for illumination. And knowing Columbia, facilities will take at least a week to fix this. And I HATE the dark. After daylight savings last week, I’m already feeling a little SAD-ish, and now this just makes it worse.
And then last night I left my window open just a crack, and somehow despite the fact that it’s already mid-November, there are apparently still mosquitoes in New York, and I got bitten in at least 10 places. Consequently I barely slept. And I woke up this morning with 6 bites on MY FACE. And they’re itchy and they burn and they make me look like I’m breaking out like crazy.
And when I got up last night to spray bug spray on me and accidentally got some on my glasses, and this morning I find this huge crack on one of the lenses of my $700 Prada glasses. I have no idea if it’s the bug spray that somehow did it, but it makes no sense. And I have to wait until Christmas to get new glasses. And now I know I HAVE TO get glasses, instead of having the choice of getting sunglasses or prescription sunglasses. And I just used the word “glasses” way too many times in this paragraph.
And then I was looking forward to watching HIMYM tonight because I thought it might make my day better, but NO. Gosh it’s so heartbreaking. Especially after the ending of last week’s episode. I feel so awful for Barney… ugh.. I can’t even. And Robin… homegirl needs to sort things out. Seriously. And even though I still have faith in the writers to turn this around, I also have no idea what’s going to happen next, and it scares me. Robin’s really going to have to redeem herself. She has some soul-searching and growing up to do before she can do that though. But gosh… so sad for Barney. Would he still believe in him and Robin after this? I’m scared. Ted, please fix this! :(
And then I hear that Community is being pulled from NBC’s mid-season schedule. WTF. Why don’t more people watch this show?! It is so funny and so clever and so original. UGH. Praying it doesn’t get cancelled.
So pretty much tonight I’m sitting in my dark dorm room wearing my cracked glasses with red itching bites all over my face being sad about TV shows.
There’s finally a tiny little break for me! I still have a paper due on Sunday that I need to start, but at least midterms are over for now and I don’t have anything else major before fall break. Phew. I’ve been so burnt out over the last couple of weeks, and I got sick last weekend too so that didn’t help either (still recovering from a cough). But at least I feel like I have enough time to write a blog post, that must mean something, right?
Earlier this month, I went to a little reunion with some friends that I attended a summer program with in 2007 (wow that’s a long time ago). One of them goes to Cornell and another goes to BU, and the other 2 are in town doing co-op programs. Since everyone was in NYC that weekend, we decided to meet up! It was great catching up with them since I haven’t seen most of them since the program ended, which was 4 years ago!
Then later that week, Yufei and I celebrated our three year together by going to dinner at Cafe Boulud. The meal and the service were excellent, I especially loved the olive bread (I think olive is starting to grow on me!) and my dessert, the milk chocolate coffee parfait.
And the company was even better, of course! Thanks to Yufei for such a great evening, and I hope we will celebrate many more years to come!
The weekend after that, I went to Columbia’s homecoming game against U Penn. We didn’t win, but at least we were winning when we left the stadium. And that’s not the most important part anyway, because that title goes to free stuff! By being a senior, I got a free t-shirt and free beer, and by pretending to be an alum, I got a free scarf (for being an “engineering alum”) and a free stuffed lion. And a ton of free food, snacks and drinks! The weather was beautiful that day, and it was so lovely to spend the afternoon with friends bathed in the upsurge of school spirit that only happens about twice a year. Here are my friends Cindy, Ying, Jin, and me!
Photo credit goes to Yufei, with amazing post-processing by Jin.
Then last weekend, I had the chance to meet up with my fellow blogger friend Erin, who is attending NYU. It was so cool to meet someone that you’ve been talking with online for so long! Erin was so nice and awesome and I’m looking forward to seeing her again to do some cool NYC stuff together!
That’s about it for now! There will be lots happening over the next week or so, so if I find time I will definitely write about it here!
Senior year has been pretty hectic so far. I’ve got a lot on my plate: 5 classes, a part-time job, extracurricular duties, studying for the DAT, preparing for dental school applications, trying to find a job for my gap year, and in the middle of it all, trying to enjoy my last year in college (and possibly in NYC).
I know some of this information is new, as in I haven’t shared them on this blog yet. Namely my decision to pursue a career in dentistry. I had wanted to write a larger post on this topic, but I simply don’t have the time right now. But yes, I’ve finally decided on a path for my future, and I’m very happy about that. It certainly wasn’t an easy or straightforward rout getting here, but this time I think I’m set on it. I’ve bought the prep books and signed up for the DAT (which I will be taking in January) and started preparing for applying to dental schools. Anyways, I’m very excited for this whole endeavor, even though I’m sure soon enough the pressure and stress will start to outweigh the excitement, ha.
And since I came to the decision to go to dental school rather late in my college years, I’m forced to take a gap year after graduation. And finding something to do during that year has become quite a stressful issue on its own. I want to move to San Francisco, but it’s so hard to find a job there, especially when I’m all the way across the continent and don’t know how to program. I’m trying to just focus on doing well on my DAT right now, but it’s still a looming problem in the near future.
So with all that, plus classes and the other stuff I mentioned, I haven’t been able to update this blog as much as I’d like to, and I probably won’t be updating it very much this semester. I will still be posting stuff once in a while, just not every other day like I would like. Hopefully I will ace my DAT and next semester will be a little more relaxed and I will have more time for this blog. But until then, I have to go back to my DAT study guide and Biochemistry notes!